One of the Lost

Has it really been a month?

2005-05-07T00:30:00.000-07:00

Apparently it has. That is not to say I've abandoned this little blog here. I've just been taking my own advice and clearing out my schedule, crossing things off my to do list, and the like. I've also learned to brew beer in the meantime. Well, I'm still in one of those places where I feel like a lot of things are going on, but that half of it is waiting for something to happen, which is always a little frustrating. Anyway, I haven't really thought of anything I like about Albuquerque this week, so I'll just mention Golden City Chinese buffet. Now, let me be clear, I'm not really recommending this as a restaurant, but more as a hangover cure. It's a little typical Chinese buffet that adjoins some hotel. It's actually right across the street from what used to be the New Chinatown and is now Mr. K's. If you live in Albuquerque you probably already know that the one thing we have beyond any reasonable proportion is Chinese restaurants. I'm not sure why that is, but there are probably a hundred of them scattered across the city. Anyway, I mention this place because, to my knowledge, this is really the best place to go for lunch following heavy drinking the night before. You wouldn't think it, being the typically fried food you naturally expect from a place like this, but somehow it seems to work well. My only recent complaint is that they've removed the pot stickers and replaced them with some kind of pineapple coconut dumpling. I liked those pot stickers and I'm sorry to see them go. Still, they may bring them back and in the meantime they still have french fries, which I, probably alone in the world, consider to be a necessary part of any Chinese buffet. Also, I should add, their hot mustard is very hot - another requirement. Look, to be honest, the place is a dive. After all their lobby connects to an old 60's style motel and the walls are done in dark wood paneling. There's a constant flow of bad Asian pop music through the speakers, and a collection of plastic novelty Asian gifts at the register. Still, when you think about it, this is exactly the type of place in which to recover from a night of excess, maybe because everyone else there is probably doing the same thing.

Currently reading: The Homebrewer's Companion - Charlie Papazian. I should add that I have finished several other books that had been on my list for a while as well as several other books on brewing.
Currently listening to: Rain Dogs - Tom Waits
Last Netflix movie: I think it was Re-Animator. If not, it was The Harder They Come.

What is and what will never be...

2005-04-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's situation still exists, I'm afraid. However, I've taken what I said about clearing my schedule some to heart. I do have too much stuff going on, which makes it hard to get anything done. That being the case, I've decided to devote today to finishing off anything that I can. If I can get a few things off my list, I should be able to focus a little easier on what's left. I'm not exactly sure why we tend to schedule ourselves for more than we could realistically accomplish. It's the path to needless stress and frustration, but we still do it. Well, that being said, I'm going to see what I cross off, and, hopefully, I should be back tomorrow with a chance to do something a little bit more substantial.

Currently reading: The Innocents Abroad - Mark Twain
Currently listening to: Greatest Hits of the 60's
Last Netflix movie: The Missing, which I'm told was actually called The Forgotten

A brief mea culpa...

2005-04-03T01:26:00.000-07:00

I had intended to do the review of The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway on Tuesday, but a very last minute editing/rendering spree tied me up, and will likely do so this week as well. There's only a limited amount of time I'm actually sitting next to my record player, you see, so I may not get to that one for a while. As for yesterday, well, I was reading a book called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, which I really enjoyed. It was one of those situations where you find yourself unable to do anything else until you've finished it. Not that the plot was that gripping or anything. It was more a book of ideas. Fantastically odd, sometimes funny, sometimes touching ideas spinning out around the life of Oskar Schell, a nine year boy who lost his father in the World Trade Center. Certainly the book had it's share of problems, but on the whole I found it well worth the read, and now that I've finished it I can get back to finishing How to Carve Wood, and the Mark Twain book I've been slowly tunneling through. What I should probably do is try to clear my schedule some, so there's more time. I don't really like banging out short posts or skipping them altogether, but my choices seem limited. That being said, if I were going to do my rant today it would be about people who make unrealistic demands on your time and don't at least have the courtesy to be as helpful or considerate as the could be, given the circumstances. However, thanks, in part, to such people I don't really have the time.

Curently listening to: Funky Caravan 2000
Currently reading: The Innocents Abroad - Mark Twain Getting near the end now.
Last Netflix movie: The Missing

As do the rivers, so must the music...

2005-03-28T00:46:00.000-07:00

Today, in keeping with this week's music theme, I'm writing a little bit about mix tapes. It's a subject I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about over the years. There's an awful lot to think about when you get into the philosophical and aesthetic possibilities. So much so that I started putting together pamphlet on the subject, which was up to around 20 pages before I had laptop problems, and haven't been able to get to it. Someday, perhaps. I was only in chapter two, so I still had a way to go. Even so, I've been refining my theories, so when the day comes I can unleash a book on mix tapes like the world has never seen. I realize, of course, that the world has not exactly been waiting with bated breath or anything, but maybe that's simply because the definitive argument hasn't been set down yet. Ok, perhaps not.

Rather than writing about my unfinished work on the subject, though, I thought I'd explore a little my thoughts on one of the most important elements of the mix tape. The flow. Also known as the groove, the flow is right at the center of any mix tape, and I think at the center of life. What I'm talking about is something like a state of mind that manifests itself in tangible ways. In terms of the mix tape it has to do with structure and movement. There is a logical progression that you should seek to maintain. One song ends and another begins in a natural, organic way. Internalized, you seek to maintain this same fluid movement in your life.

I think a small bit of elaboration may be in order. Life is often a difficult process, and it's full of distractions, and problems that get in the way. If you always run at these and seek to overcome them with brute force you don't often make any progress, but if you allow yourself to pass by them like the river flows past rocks that disrupt it's course. That's not to say that there aren't rapids, or waterfalls, but there is an understanding that these will pass as surely as they came up. Now, in taking this principle into the realm of art you become the creator of the obstructions through which another river will flow. By your act of creation you provide the opportunity for someone else to experience something new. When you know what it is that you are attempting to do with your project you can employ obstacles to your advantage. It is clear in a novel. The use of tension and obstacles draws the reader into the story and helps them to bond with the characters they are reading about. If a book consisted of a series of uninteresting scenes where nothing ever happened it would be pointless. We read books to learn something about ourselves and the world around us. It is by representing the problems of the world in a more structured way that art can help us to understand and relate to the world and our place within it. All types of art do this. Looking at Andy Warhol's soup can we come face to face with consumerism. Watching Goodfellas we come face to face with the brutality of mob life. The mix tape, when understood, is not different.

I realize that there is a tendency to discount the mix tape as an art form, but they are innately concerned with aesthetics and composition and I have no issue including them as a form of artistic expression. I also realize that all of this looks like a tangled collection of Eastern and Western thought mixed with endless metaphor, and there's certainly a lot of truth to that. The problem is that whenever you begin to question the nature of the mix tape you must also deal with certain metaphysical issues. These are the questions that art seeks to explore, and must explore to understand art.

So where have my thoughts taken me? I spend a good amount of time looking at the transitions between songs on a mix tape. I find I prefer to make these transitions as seamless as possible, but realizing this I then seek out the dissonant. What happens if you push the boundaries? Sometimes creating an unusual break is effective. Sometimes it isn't. The thing I seem to find is that you have to be aware of what you are choosing to do. Creating a flow and then causing turbulence is interesting, but turbulence without structure is not. Or maybe it is. Maybe the next step lies in transcending structure. It's possible, but I'm not ready to do that yet. I am still in the place where rules exist, though they become more fluid as I go. An old adage tells us that you must first know the rules before you know when to break them. So I begin to experiment with the rules. I construct and then disconnected. And learn something about the process, why the rules exist and why I can move beyond them. From there its really to much of a leap to comparing the rules of one art form to another and looking for the overarching principles, or to questioning what the rules are for in the first place. This leads naturally into the question of what art is, which sits right on the doorstep of Metaphysics. I find all of these things to be connected, but as of yet I'm not able to put all of the pieces together. I tend to follow the as above so below philosophy, and thus reach the conclusion that by exploring one I am exploring both. Reflecting on life and making a mix tape become one in the same. You might want to think about that the next time someone gives you one.

I think that's about as far as I'm willing to take this tonight, but I'll probably return to it again sometime. I find it to be a interesting and largely ignored subject. Until then I'll just declare this all unresolved.

Currently listening to: South Park: Chef Aid
Currently reading: Richard Butz - How to Carve Wood
Last Netflix Movie: The Missing

Fish in a barrel...

2005-03-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, you might think it's a little to easy to take shots at Clear Channel these days. After all, everyone else already has, including several members of congress. In fact, as a company, you've probably heard it all when you finally decide to send your CEO out to a conference to inform people that you are not, in fact, "evil". Seriously, we solemnly swear we are not evil. Well, once you've reached that stage there's not really anywhere to go but up.

I'm not going to restate the case against Clear Channel. You can check clearchannelsucks.org or anywhere else for that matter. They can tell you all the statistics on what percentage of the radio market Clear Channel owns, or what subsidiary businesses they also own, or how they're just waiting for a chance to infiltrate the TV market as well with their Gestapo tactics.

What I'd like to do instead is focus on the bigger issue. Clear Channel is the popular target, but what about Disney, or Viacom, or the other large media conglomerates? We pay a little attention to them too, but shouldn't they be up on the rack just like Clear Channel?

So what's really so bad about Clear Channel owing a huge number of radio stations, a large number of concert venues, a slew of billboards, and wanting to own local newspapers and TV stations as well? It has to do with diversity, and the free exchange of ideas. Certainly, the radio business is that, a business, and Clear Channel has every right to try and maximize their profit potential. We have, however, always recognized the problem with monopolies. Once you have one they are very difficult to break up, and you can hardly rely on a corporation to act in the best interests of the populace. The possibility of losing customers, or revenue is often the only check the general public can employ. When you take this away we become ineffectual, and lose our ability to protest a company's actions. To be fair, Clear Channel is not a Monopoly, and are kept from becoming one by the remaining FCC regulations. However, it is unwise to ignore the amazing influence they have already secured. They have the power to regulate which artists will be heard by the public, which artists will receive publicity, and even, with their purchasing of venues, which artists can perform in your town. It would be a bad career move to get on Clear Channel's bad side.

This bring me to what, I think, is most dangerous about them. It's no big secret that Clear Channel leans pretty heavily to the political right. I'd hate to think that Clear Channel would use it's marketplace clout to advance this agenda, but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't really think corporations should have a political leaning, but that's a lost cause. At the least I would like to know that field is open enough that voices from all sides would have access to an audience. I fear that in today's media this is not the case. There is little room left for outsiders, dissidents, and non-commercial fare. There was a time, within my memory, when radio was a local phenomenon, and there was a local color and personality to the stations, but as the companies grow larger and more centralized, and grow more and more interested in market research their product becomes homoginized, bland, and less and less interesting.

Where's the room for your local scene when Clear Channel comes in? What happened to the local DJ who could take requests and turn you on to something new? It's a sad state of affairs, and I don't think there's any chance of ever getting that back. As I recall it was Billy Joel who wrote, "So I learned to dance with a hand in my pants, I rub my neck and I write 'em a check, and they go their merry way," and that was before deregulation. Imagine it now.

When you think about it, most of the movies you see, TV shows you watch, and Music you listen to are under the control of a few people who would fit around a poker table. That's an awful lot of influence on our lives, and I guarantee that the music they're listening to isn't particularly good. Still, we play into their hands. We go and see their movies. We watch their TV programs. We listen to the music they want us to. Is it because they now have the power to research what we really want and cater to that, or are we just too lazy to find the alternative. I suspect it's the latter. There is a lot of good music still out there, a lot of good foreign and independent films, and some local stations we should patronize before they're gone.

Here in Albuquerque Clear Channel owns at least nine stations including, ironically, Radio Free Santa Fe. They also own the Journal Pavilion, out most popular concert venue. I drive by their local office nearly every day. I drive by their billboards all over town. The one thing I don't do is listen to their programming. You can do what you like, of course. Forcing people to believe a particular idea is exactly what I'm warning against. It's your choice, but if we're not careful and don't start supporting the alternatives we may as well just well just go buy the t-shirt and get it over with now.

All in all, it makes you wonder who the fish in the barrel are. Us or Them.

Currently listening to: Pulp Fiction Soundtrack
Currently reading: Richard Butz - How to Carve Wood
Last Netflix movie: The Missing

Are you into vinyl...

2005-03-26T02:28:00.000-07:00

I know I was slacking last week. I didn't really have that much to say. Actually I was intending to do what I've got in mind for this week, but I didn't get the first step done, so I had to postpone. We're doing music all week, and to start it off I took a trip to Charley's Records and Tapes, one of the few places in town, other than thrift stores, where you can still buy records and tapes. Records are round (usually) pieces of vinyl covered with very small grooves. When you run a needle along these grooves and amplify the signal you hear the sounds which were pressed into the vinyl. Ok, so many of you knew that, but you can never be certain any more. Kids these days, you know...

So, Charley's is a great little store. I prefer it to Krazy Kat, because the atmosphere is so much better. It's actually just down the road from where Title Wave Books used to be at Pennsylvania and Menaul. I was really only going to check it out and buy an album to use for my Tuesday music segment, but 70$ later I wound up with quite a few more things. They have a large selection of used LP's (those are the large 12 inch records) and 45's (the 7 inch ones with the big holes. Ok, I'll stop now) both new and used. They even have one of the Beatles' butcher cover albums, if you're willing to spend some serious cash. I found a large box of Zappa albums, Moby Grape, the Stones, Floyd, all kinds of things. In the 45 bins there are just as many great, or at the least unusual things as well.

They also have a large collection of used cassettes, which is really unusual to find these days. I prefer records to tapes, but it's still an interesting collection to look through. As you might expect they carry CD's as well, though it's a little bit of a duck shoot as to what you'll find. You never know. You'll probably find major albums, but maybe not. They did have one of the largest collections of The Damned I've ever seen, though. You just have to look. It's definitely not like Hastings, or any of the large music stores that have 5000 copies of the new Green Day album, but nothing by the Flying Burrito Brothers. I actually found a couple there, which was a bit shocking. By the way, as a note to whoever's in charge of re-releases...Look, Gram Parsons just got a re-release of his solo work, how about the Burrito Bros. I'm thinking Guilded Palace of Sin. Come on. Rhino, I'm looking at you.

Anyway, when I'm looking for something specific I still use Amazon, but when I'm just out looking for anything, Charley's is the way to go. I actually found a copy of "Stars" in the 45 bin. "Stars" is the heavy metal "We are the World" type song produced by Ronnie James Dio in the 80's. How can you help but buy that one. You should really hear it if you haven't. It's God awful, a definite keeper.

Another interesting thing about Charley's is that there's a Soda Fountain connected to the record shop, I've never ordered anything there, since I've always spent everything I have at the record store first, but you might be differently inclined.

The only real problem I have with almost any small record store is the employees. They're always a touch on the condescending side, but Charley's isn't nearly as bad as Wherehouse Music for that. Charley, himself, is actually a really nice guy. So, to recap...tons of new and used records, bin after bin of 45's, a sizeable collection of tapes, a lot of varied and unpredictable CD's (including some amazing bootlegs), a few DVD's, some posters, incense and other oddities and a soda fountain. All in all, I think it's the best music store Albuquerque has to offer. If you're in town, or just haven't been there in a while, check it out. As for the rest of this musical week. Tomorrow's rant tackles the big one...Clear Channel, some various musical thoughs on mix tapes on Monday, and Tuesday a review of Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, one of the albums I bought at Charley's this weekend.

Currently listening to: Malcolm X Motion Picture Soundtrack
Currently Reading: Richard Butz - How to Carve Wood
Last Netflix Movie: The Missing

Because Tsunami Books sounds stupid...

2005-03-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

There are quite a few used book stores in Albuquerque. There are even quite a few good used book stores in Albuquerque. One of my favorites is Title Wave Books. Snide comments from geologists who point out that "tidal wave" is a misnomer aside, it's a great little store, which until recently has been on Menaul a little east of Pennsylvania. Apparently, it's going to be moving to a new location to Eubank and Constitution. I hope its still a nice place once they get settled in. Although there are other comparable stores around town, I've always liked the atmosphere at Title Wave, so I thought I'd mention it before it moves.

Over the years I've spent quite a few hours browsing there, and somehow never fail to leave without more books than I can afford, or have time to read, for that matter. In fact, I purchased the copy of The Innocents Abroad that I'm reading now there. They have a webpage you can check out, but the search doesn't seem to do justice to what they have, which is almost anything you could want. They even have card you get stamped once for every five dollars you spend. When you collect one hundred dollars worth of stamps you get a ten dollar discount on your next purchase. I've filled three, I think, so far. I actually have one that's full, so I'll probably go in and check on it once they're done moving. With any luck it will still be a place of great variety and good atmosphere, free of a coffee shop, and unconcerned about e-mailing me coupons I don't really want. If not, well, it couldn't last forever.

Currently Listening to: Frank Zappa - The Yellow Shark
Currently Rading: Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad (they're into the Holy Land now)
Last Netflix Movie: The Missing (a truly awful movie)

And Zappa said...Let there be Hot Rats

2005-03-15T03:33:00.000-07:00

To get right to the point, Frank Zappa is odd. Definitely odd. Actually, Zappa is a pretty interesting figure in the music world. You won't find one of his early albums poorly rated, despite the fact that they will range from a kind of free-form noise exploration to structured bouts of scathing satire to goofy doo-wop pieces, often over a matter of several minutes. He tends to be regarded as one of those people you have to like in order to actually appreciate music. The problem is that it's all very dense and hard to get into. His catalog is so large you wouldn't even have an idea of where to begin, and if you picked at random you might very well wind up listening to 23 minutes of dialogue from a film and walk away for good.

I started trying to get into Zappa in high school...no, I think it must have been my Freshman year of college, and made the error of going right for Strictly Commercial, which is a greatest hits collection of sorts. As Zappa didn't have that many hits, and those he did have tend toward the "Valley Girl" type of accessible comedy numbers, you can learn Strictly Commercial by heart and still have no conception of his work. This is probably complicated again by the fact that Zappa is a formidable pop craftsman, and when he wants to will put out what should really be top 10 singles. Strictly Commercial is full of these pop gems. Needless to say, when you encounter a full on Frank Zappa album, as I did when I bought Freak Out!, you are virtually unprepared.

So when it comes down to it, I'm still a little unresolved on the whole Zappa issue. I have trouble dealing with the sprawling, epic, exploratory works, but I recognize his accomplishments as a composer and as a guitar player. What I really prefer, though, is when he focuses a bit more, and puts together an album like Hot Rats. It's a jazz-rock album, without getting lost in it. A lot of jazz-rock comes out sounding like Miles Davis, or the Mahavishnu Orchestra, but on Hot Rats Zappa's unusual melodic voice, though restrained, remains distinct. Somewhere around the middle of track 2 it always hits me. I'm listening to something amazing.

The album starts with "Peaches En Regalia" one of Zappa's most instantly recognizable instrumental pieces, and a very tightly composed song. I'd probably like it more if it weren't so well known, but that's really a small problem. Besides, by the time "Willie the Pimp" starts who could really care.

"Willy the Pimp" is sung by none other than Captain Beefheart, and combines a dirty blues sound, with a howling violin lead and an amazing guitar solo. It's probably one of my favorite Zappa tracks ever. Why this never appears on his hits albums I will never know.

"Son of Mr. Green Genes" is another lengthy guitar venture, but with Zappa that doesn't really mean the guitar always holds the foreground. There's a lot of instruments playing here, weaving together, but the guitar is usually responsible for bringing the fire. Interestingly, this song also spawned the urban legend that Frank Zappa was related to Hugh Brannum, who played Mr. Greenjeans on Captain Kangaroo.

"Little Umbrellas" is a little like "Peaches En Regalia", but more sprawling. It's another tight jazzy number. Not exactly filler, but not one of the albums high moments.

"The Gumbo Variations" is the longest and most abstract song on the album, but still maintains a good deal of structure. It's a sprawling mass of horns and guitars, that's sometimes dissonant, but most of the time remains compelling.

"It Must Be a Camel", the last track on the album, merges a light jazz piano sound with some distinctively Zappa-esque elements. The result is slightly more unusual than many of the earlier songs, but is still among the most accessible of Zappa oeuvre.

The snow outside is really beginning to swirl around. It's makes me glad I'm inside with a warm cup of coffee. Somehow this album seems fitting for the occasion.

Currently listening to: Frank Zappa - Hot Rats
Currently reading: Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad
Last Netflix Movie: This used to change - Dawn of the Dead

Just another Monday. Manic? Who can say...

2005-03-14T01:54:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and I can do whatever I want. I'm too tired to do anything, so I give you "The 2AM Maintenance Haiku":

Oh no! The Water!
Broken pipe within the wall
Where is maintenance?

Tomorrow is music day. I'm thinking something Zappa. Come back then.

Currently listening to: Yes - An Evening of Yes Music Plus
Currently Reading: Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad
Last Netflix Movie: Dawn of the Dead

Chaucerian irony...What a crock.

2005-03-13T03:59:00.000-07:00

As you can tell from yesterday's post, I've been reading Mark Twain's The Innocents Abroad recently. It's an unusual book to say the least, and I will get to how it connects to Chaucerian irony in a moment. Let's begin, though with Chaucerian irony itself.

Let's start by calling irony, at least some irony as the art of saying one thing while meaning something else. Chaucerian irony could be considered the art of saying something, but meaning something that is not there at all, though it is clearly implied. This, of course, is the light definition. Really it tends to be re-defined to suit the needs of whoever is writing about it. You can see from the definition, though, that's it gives you a lot of leeway in terms of interpretation. Now, I'm not actually suggesting that Chaucerian irony doesn't exist. I think it's pretty clear that a lot of what Chaucer says is intended to be taken tongue in cheek, but I draw the line at suggesting that Chaucer is implying something by not implying it. Why even refer to the text at all if you're going to make such claims. I might suggest that since Chaucer pointedly avoids reference to cars that he must have been advocating their use as pilgrimage transports. Never mind that cars were not around at the time; he's clearly avoiding them.

Ok, this example is clearly facetious, but similar, questionable statements are made of Chaucer all the time. Let me change direction a little a point to a larger problem that the idea of Chaucerian irony is involved with. Chaucer wrote a very long time ago. Or, for Medievalists, around the late part of the 14th century. It's pretty clear to most people that, as a species, our views of society, our philosophy, and our way of life are vastly, vastly different than those of people in Chaucer's day. It wasn't all that long ago that issues like equality across lines of gender or race were considered unimportant. There is still a tendency, even in this world we call "modern" to treat people differently based on religious beliefs, sexual orientation, and any number of other factors, not excluding gender and race.

Still, we have made progress and openly racist or sexist statements tend to offend our sensibilities. So what do we do, as a people, when we come across certain "unacceptable" ideas in the works of our great writers. What do we say when Chaucer slights a woman for her independence? Or how about when Shakespeare makes some rather crude racial comments?
We have a tendency to, for lack of a better phrase, throw the baby out with the bathwater. We seem incapable of recognizing that there could be something worthwhile in the work of a person we consider to be immoral. Let's suggest, hypothetically, that there is something wonderful contained in the writings of Adolph Hitler's Mein Kampf. I guarantee you would never hear anything about it. If I were to suggest there were something worth reading I would be vilified. I haven't read it, so I can't really say, but I'll give you a few reasonable examples. Recently we've seen the work of Michelangelo re-evaluated by certain people because of the "taint" of homosexuality. We've also seen the work of Thomas Jefferson criticized because of his relationships with slaves that he owned. Picasso for his womanizing,Gandhi for his treatment of his wife, Shakespeare for his reported drug use. There's a pretty long list. It is not my intent to comment on the morality of any of these issues. Nearly all of us can agree that slavery is wrong, that spousal abuse is wrong, but that's not really the point. The point is that we tend to either whitewash over the sins of those we respect or write them off for their failure to conform to twenty-first century conceptions of morality.

Chaucer, who was clearly not a twenty-first century man, can hardly be criticized for that. He is a representative of the time from which he came, and his work must be evaluated as such. There is a distinct tendency, for instance, to suggest that Chaucer was portraying the Wife of Bath as a positive figure. He isn't. She's loud, brash, obnoxious, and independent. These are not qualities Chaucer is likely to be suggesting are favorable. If there's an element of irony in his description of her, it probably comes about in drawing her in a reasonably favorable light, while subtly attacking her. I don't have a problem with looking at here character in a more "modern" way and noting how our perceptions of women and their roles have changed since the 14th century, or thinking about how a modern businesswoman might receive a similar treatment if Chaucer were writing about her. The standards have changed. Most of us no longer have a Medieval conception of women. Chaucer could not have had anything else. Even if he were the most forward thinking man of his age, he wouldn't even come close to having anything approaching a modern view of women. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just the way that ideas evolve over time. Today we praise Heloise for her strength and dedication. Peter Abelard criticized her for the same thing in the 12th century.

What I'm getting at is that often this idea of irony is just a cover we can use to cover up the "flaws' we find in our artistic cannon. It does us no good, and actually makes me wonder how far we've actually come. Why are we so threatened by the past? I don't really know. I realize that not everyone is guilty of this. There are quite a few papers on Chaucerian irony that are well worth reading, but also quite a few that are probably not. You just have to be careful to question anyone's interpretation, especially those who seem to be putting their own agenda into the mouths of historical figures. Which brings me to Mark Twain.

Mark Twain is a bit of a touchy figure. In such a racially charged culture, you couldn't pay me enough to teach one of his books in a school today. It's just a minefield waiting to go off. However, this is what makes books like Huckleberry Finn such an interesting book to read, and such a relevant book to discuss. The book I'm reading now though is a little different. The Innocents Abroad is a recording of Twain's travels in Europe and the Middle East in the year 1867. It's a pretty lengthy record, full of all kinds of observations, reflections, encounters, and comments. Some of which have a ring of modernity, some which sound dated, but most of them sound distinctively American. The back of the book will tell you that Twain is actually telling the story of his journey through the voice of a character sharing his name but not necessarily his views. "His naive Westerner is a blustering pretender to sophistication, a too-quick convert to culture. Turning the coin, the ruins of antiquity appear but a shadow of their heralded glory; the scenery of Europe and the holy Land dwarfs in contrast to the splendor of a Western landscape." (Signet Classic edition 1966) it is certainly not unlikely that the central figure of the book is intended to be more that a direct representation of Twain himself. However, to suggest that the jingoist language of the book does not come at all from Twain's personal bias, seems to me unlikely. His criticisms are pointed, yes, but so, in places is his wonder and awe.

As I mentioned before Twain is a interesting person. We often take his anti-slavery stance as an indication of his modernity. I would point out, however, that being against the enslavement of a group of people does not imply belief in equality. We tend to ascribe him that trait as well, but I'm not certain it's warranted. After all, there was a good hundred years or more between the end of slavery and the beginning of the Civil Rights movement. It was not a simple transition. To modernize Twain is to put him more than 60 years ahead of his time, a tricky proposition at best. So what can we say about his hews of Europe and the Middle East? There is, undoubtedly some satire here, probably on both sides. Americans at the time would probably have had many similar reactions to other countries. We still have many of them today. Twain is probably pointing out the inconsistencies between the American vision of Europe and the reality. These are visions he probably shared and expectations he saw dispelled first-hand. There's probably a lot of Twain in his character. He may be coloring his perceptions to added effect, but he is there. The subtle racism, elitism, and jingoism that are passive in the story probably reflect views of the time he unconsciously shares.

So yes, we need to account for satire, and irony, but they're not excuses. We can't recreate the past. We can't invent voices to tell us what we want to hear. To do so is self-deceptive, and accomplishes nothing. It's better for us to recognize the differences, to study them. We can see how far we have come, and how far we've yet to go. It would be a better use of our time than applying another coat of whitewash to hide what offends us.

Currently listening to: The Yardbirds - Ultimate
Currently reading: Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad
Last Netflix Movie: yet again Dawn of the Dead

Once upon a time...

2005-03-12T01:11:00.000-07:00

I mentioned once that in Albuquerque things seem to come and go all the time. Today I'm going to reminisce a little about one of the great lost places in town.

Not so long ago, or perhaps 6 years ago not a Tuesday night would go by and not find a group of my friends at the New Chinatown. As far a Chinese restaurants go this was about the best. I can't really say much about their buffet, or their menu, because we seldom ordered more than appetizers, but their bar was amazing.

I believe it was called the Tiki Room, but who can really say anymore. It was certainly done in the style of a Tiki lounge. A few times a week, Tuesday being one of those days, Freddie Baker, a Hawaiian lounge singer would play, and we'd go down, order frozen drinks with little umbrellas, and listen to Freddie play songs like "Blue Hawaii" and "Tiny Bubbles", and dream about opening up a similar place on an island somewhere.

There is nothing like an island oasis in the middle of a desert, and this place was perfect. So much so that you had a culture shock at the door when you decided to go home. I will always fondly remember sitting there for hours ordering Piña Coladas and Mai Tais, and waiting for the waitress to go up front and swing balls on strings around her head while Freddie pounded out island rhythms on a hollow log. It's only a shame they weren't on fire.

Well, the years have rolled by and most of those friends have moved out of town. New Chinatown was turned into something called Mr. K's Chinese Buffet a year or so ago, and I haven't been able to bring myself to go in and see if the lounge remained intact. I can't imagine that it did, and I don't really want proof. I'd rather believe that somewhere three times a week Freddie is still playing "Tiny Bubbles" while people order icy drinks in the middle of a desert.

Currently Listening to: XTC - Nonesuch
Currently Reading: Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad
Last Netflix Movie: Dawn of the Dead (no comment)

This week in music: Innervisions

2005-03-08T02:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't really plan anything for this week, so I thought I'd do something a little different. Since I happen to have the Stevie Wonder album Innervisions with me, and I've been meaning to listen to it for a while, I thought I'd do that and make some comments on what I do when reviewing an album I don't know that well. So here goes...

I like to give it a few play throughs to get a feel for it and to see what jumps out at me. I'm in the middle of the first now. My initial reaction is how varied the album is. Coming from Motown records, which tends to have, especially around this time, a pretty distinctive sound, the range of genres here is pretty impressive. I'm hearing some Jazz and rock influence, the hints of the synthesizer movement to come, and, of course, some R&B and Soul as well. Just not as much as I would have expected. Oh...here it is the bassline of Golden Lady is definitely Motown.

Also, while I'm doing the first playthrough I like to read the artist's profile on allmusic.com. It helps me to listen to the album not only sonically, but to place it in respect to their development. That way I can get a better feel for the artist and the process as well as the end result. I usually hold off on reading the album review until I've developed my own ideas about the album to avoid prejudicing myself one way or the other. I tend to be more careful about that with "classic" albums, because they already have that stigma Also when you let someone tell you what you're hearing you might miss something else. Better, I think, to try to absorb yourself first and then you can read other reviews more critically.

Ok, first play is over. Hmm...there's a lot to this album. A lot of sounds and styles. There are some great instrumental sections, and some places where he really lays down some serious funk. The synthesizers sound a bit dated in places, but, oddly, not as dated as a lot of 80's synth sounds. I mentioned that there are a lot of genres represented here, but it's not choppy. There's a little bit of everything in each song, so they kind of flow across the album. Sometime one style becomes more dominant, but eventually it recedes and a new one rises to the front. It's like a sonic liquid swirling around. There is definitely an explosive creative force here.

This is borne out by the Allmusic Guide artist biography. It describes Stevie as a genre bending genius, and places Innervisions right in the middle of his most creative period. It also mentions his fight to break free from the control of Motown and forge his own sound, which probably accounts for why it shows less influence from the Motown school than I had expected to hear.

I'm nearly through the second playthrough of the album now, and I'm hearing a few new things, probably in light of his biography. There are some piano parts which have an almost classical quality, so it's not surprising that he did study classical composition for a while. He also has a voice which defies category. He certainly fits well within the R&B sound, but wouldn't sound out of place on the pop charts, and he clearly had many crossover hits which prove this to be so. The Allmusic Guide album review doesn't really add much more to the picture other than to point out that "He's Mistra Know-It-All" is about Richard Nixon.

Alright. I'm going into play three now, and I'll read through the lyric sheet and focus a little more on the songwriting. He's got a gift for loose rhythmic words that rhyme or choose not to rhyme in an uncontrived way. I'm not sure at this point that I would consider this a concept album, though. Allmusic calls it as such, but it doesn't really work for me. There are certainly unifying themes that run through the songs, and they're most definitely not placed on the album randomly. Still, there's not really any attempt to forge a coherent story, more a series of thoughts and images which form, together, a picture of the world. I really like the way the Red Hot Chili Peppers covered "Higher Ground". I think the punk-ish group chant chorus really worked well. Strange I never noticed it's a song about reincarnation before. The Latin grooves of "Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing" are seriously infectious.

I've been through the album three times now and I'm going into the fourth and now I'm ready to take my notes track by track.

Stevie Wonder - Innervisions (Motown 1973)

1) Too High: Has a light jazzy quality. A little repetitive melodically, but is broken up by harmonica solo, and strong dynamics. Vocals are loose and fluid, with a groovy almost scatish quality.

2) Visions: Almost a hallucination. Very light and airy. Carried by an arpaggiated acoustic guitar part. It comes bubbling up from under "Too High" like a moment of clarity, or a lucid dream of safety. As the song ends the tougher rock/R&B strains of "Living For the City" bring reality back to bear. The phrasing is as fragile as it's placement between these more aggressive pieces.

3) Living For The City: This has the feel of early Rock and Roll mixed with a little James Brown soul. The synths are a little heavy for me, but not too distracting. This one starts off very simple, and then builds in intensity telling the story of a young boy in Mississippi struggling under the burden of race and planning to move to New York to make a better place for himself. At this point it takes a rather abrupt turn into a sound poem with some dialogue pieces that catapult the main character into the problems of the city and then returns to the main theme, but in a much more angry reprise. Despite this harshness in tone the words clearly call for hope.

4) Golden Lady: Starts with light piano and a distinctively Motown inspired bassline. This is pretty clearly a more romantic song than any so far, but surrounded as it is with songs of hope this is really not so different. It's a little sentimental, but forgivably so.

5) Higher Ground: A seriously funky tune. Deep funk with a complicated rhythmic base. I really like the sound in the chorus. This is another song of hope, I think. Maybe we can get it right next time.

6) Jesus children of America: There's still some funk here, but a soulful R&B sound has move to the fore. The backing vocals are very Gospel. It's actually reminds me of the Beatles' "Come Together" in tone. This is probably the other part of the redemption intimated in "Higher Ground". Ends a bit abruptly.

7) All In Love is Fair: More than anything else on this album I think this one relies most on the words to carry it. That's not to say that the music is boring in any way. In fact, I actually really like the simplicity of the piano part. It's very haunting and creates an interesting tension, but the lyrics about giving away love, only to wish you hadn't later are quite poignant.

8) Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing: Tight Latin grooves on this one. The chorus is very catchy. This is a great place on the album to put this little pick me up, which reinforces the "Everything will get better" felling that moves through the album.

9) He's Mistra Know-It-All: If I were writing a song about Nixon it wouldn't be nearly this pleasant, but I'm angrier at Nixon than Stevie seems to be. This really says bemused rather than angry and that's ok too.

That's pretty much it. I'm now familiar enough with the album to write about it, and I've got some notes to help me remember things I would want to say, or would jog my memory of how it all sounded if I looked back at them a year from now. If I were going to put this up here I would typically just synthesize all this into a less rambling form and leave it at that. I don't think I really need to revisit everything again though. I'll leave with this. Overall, I think this album has aged pretty well. It's hard to really think of it as revolutionary because so many people have taken so much from it over the last 30 years. But there's a rawness here that remains, and a twisted mass of anger and hope that really holds this together. Musically, it's very strong. I tend to be a bit critical of early, or even modern synths, but that's just a personal thing. I'd put it around 4.5/5 stars, but I'm sure those who were more into this style of music would go 5/5.

Currently listening to: Innervisions - Stevie Wonder (duh)
Currently reading:
Last Netflix Movie: Yet again Dawn of the Dead

The big three...

2005-03-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

A word first, on this random day of thoughts, about my new addition of current listening, reading, Netflix closing. The way I figure it, in the end the person who will get the most out of reading this blog is me. That's not to say that there wouldn't be anything of interest for someone else who wanted to read it, but I'm really the only one who would have an interest in everything here. The movies that we see, or the books that we read, and albums that we play are often more representative of who we are at a particular point in our lives than anything else. Certainly, the music I listen to now I vastly different than what I was listening to five years ago. Books and movies are often the same. I am interested to see what sort of pattern develops if I look back in a few years at all of these entries. Besides, I'm often interested in hearing what other people are listening to or reading, so maybe someone else will be too.

On a similar not I just finished Isaac Asimov's I, Robot yesterday, and got to thinking. The book is actually pretty good. I liked each story on an individual basis. They were interesting psychological vignettes, and each one turned on an unusual aspect of how the three rules which govern robot behavior would work in practice. I've got to say that the one where the robot wanders around in circles was hilarious.

My problem with the book, however, came from the rules themselves. For those who have not read the book, or seen the movie (which has nothing to do with the book) the three rules are:

1) No robot may cause harm to a human or allow harm to come to a human through inaction.
2) Robots must obey commands given to them by humans unless it violates rule 1
3) A robot must take action to preserve itself from injury unless to do so would violate rules 1 or 2

In the book they mention that these rules were created to pacify people who were concerned/afraid of the robots taking over, or of losing control over them. The problem, however, and I think it's pretty obvious, is that these rules virtually ensure that happening. To think that these rules would have helped to placate anyone is ridiculous.

Here are the problems. First the definition of harm seems to be rather loose. By rule 1 I would expect robots to be chasing people around taking their cigarettes, forcing them out of their cars, putting an end to professional sports and numerous other things. All of these things are dangerous. All of them cause harm, yet people chose to do them anyway. Every time you drive your car you are in immediate peril and could be dead in a fraction of a second. A robot programmed with rule 1 could not allow you to do those things because they would be allowing you to harm yourself by their inaction. Additionally, by rule 2 you would not be able to order them to leave you alone because your order would be outweighed by rule 1.

Here's another problem that Asimov even touched on in a few of the stories. a robot is able to perform certain tasks much more accurately and capably than people. Some of these are tasks which humans depend on having performed correctly. Since the robot knows that left to humans there could be problems leading to harm. The robot then decides that the most disastrous outcome for humanity would be the loss of itself. Thus rule 1 means the robot will act toward its own preservation above anything else. This effect would probably be enhanced by rule 3 giving it an instinct for self-preservation already.

The logical problems with the rules are pretty clear, so the question I couldn't get past while reading was how anyone would accept these rules as a solution to the possible robot problem. They pretty clearly ensure the eventual takeover of everything by well intentioned robots, and the transition of humans into caretakers of the machines which watch over them. I don't know about you but if I were handed these rules as my safeguard against robotic domination I wouldn't take it too well. To be fair to Asimov this eventuality was part of the book, but I found the shock evinced by the human characters at these outcomes questionable. They should have figured that out long before the first robot came off the line.

Currently listening to: Another Joyous Occasion - Widespread Panic
Curently reading: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction
Last Netflix movie: Still Dawn of the Dead. What can I say.

So much to do, so little time...

2005-03-06T03:21:00.000-07:00

Hmm...missed the music post after all. I really meant to get to it, but there's just so much stuff to do. Missed the Albuquerque post too, so I'm back to the day of ranting. Well, let's play a little catch-up.

Music: I don't really have the time today to launch into a full blown music post, so here are a few things I've been listening to recently that I like: Trouble - Ray LaMontagne, Nebraska - Bruce Springsteen, Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman, Raindogs - Tom Waits, The Who Sings My Generation - The Who. I think they're all worth a listen. The first three are pretty mellow, but the other two are more upbeat. The only one that is particularly new is Ray LaMontagne. It's been out about a year or so.

Albuquerque: This week the Gin Mill. It's a cool little bar/tavern place in the Far North center. The food is ok, the price is good. It's one of the few smoking permitted places in town, and I like the atmosphere. It's the thing I like about Albuquerque this week.

Rant day: Suffice it to say that if I had the time this week to complain about not having enough time to get everything done, or about everyone making demands on my time I would put that in here, but, of course, I don't so I'll have to leave it at that, but I've got an awful lot to say on the subject. Well, that's not much of a rant, but really to spend the time ranting about it would really make it worse, so I won't bother.

Currently listening to: Live at the Isle of Wight - The Who
Currently reading: Not sure yet just finished I, Robot - Isaac Asimov
Last Netflix movie: Still Dawn of the Dead. I told you I haven't had much time recently.

So it's been a week...

2005-02-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

I know I had a schedule established, but I warned you very early on that my focus has a tendency to shift rather rapidly. Actually, this wasn't really my fault.

I've spent the last week puzzling over a book called "A Treasure's Trove". It's a fairy tale, which contains clues to find some actual hidden treasures. Someone at work asked me to look through it to see what I could find and a week later...here we are. If there's one thing that really bothers me it an unsolved puzzle. It drives me to distraction. This is exactly what I have on my hands with this book, and after a week, I'm pretty sure that's not going to change. I've got some ideas, of course, but no time to try them all out. I'm behind in everything already. So I've decided to let the treasure hunt rest for a while so I can I get back on track. Who knows, maybe with some time to let it simmer in the back of my mind I'll come up with something. To be honest, I don't even care about the treasure anymore. I just want to know the solution.

This isn't the first time I've had problems like this. Twin Peaks drove me crazy too. How can you end a series on a cliffhanger? It's inhuman. I had to give up reading books called "Mysteries of the Unexplained" altogether. The JFK assassination (no conspiracy, I'm sure of that), the Bermuda Triangle (there's not even a mystery here), the Moon landing hoax (Clearly not a hoax)...I've done them all. I'm simultaneously driven to these things and irritated by them. I must be ill. Anyway, I intend to return to my normal blogging schedule tomorrow, which will be music day. I'm not sure what that will be yet, but I'll find something.

Currently listening to: Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Currently reading: Isaac Asimov - I, Robot
Last Netflix movie: Dawn of the Dead (Original)

Rant the first: Download This!

2005-02-20T01:08:00.000-07:00

I still remember the first computer I ever had. It was a Commodore 64 that used a cassette drive to save. Since that time I've had a number of other computers of almost every shape size and color. Each one came with its own set of problems designed to keep you up very late into the night fixing it, and I'm fine with that. Hell, it's almost fun. Beside, more often than not it was doing something stupid that caused the problem in the first place. You can't really complain about that, after all you brought it on yourself. Even equipment failure, while irritating, is not really anyone's fault. It's just happens, and, again, I'm fine with that.

What I'm not fine with, however, is when the problem comes from someone else making changes I never asked for. Such is the insidious evil that is ad-ware. There is a special circle in hell for the purveyors of this destructive filth.

Could someone please explain to me why we heard so much about spam e-mail, why government spam legislation was considered necessary, and yet nothing is being done to put a stop to this other more irritating, more despicable, more obnoxious, more destructive problem? Spam? Who cares, you delete it and move on with your life. It's no different than the ads that come in regular mail, except they cut down fewer trees to make it. So much the better.

Ad-ware, on the other hand, is such a pain in the ass to seek out and remove. One sweeper program isn't nearly enough to get everything. I use three to keep things to a manageable level. I'm starting to believe that it's the companies who make the sweeper programs who keep writing spyware to sell their product. It's probably not true, but I appreciate the conspiracy.

The thing is I'm pretty relaxed about a lot of things. Pop-up ads don't really bother me. After all, you've got a right to put whatever you want on your site. If you want me to see some ads before I get to the content I'm looking for you can do that. If you want me to download and install some super-saver bargain finder before I'm allowed to go on your page, that's fine too. I just won't go there. Any of these would be fine. When you have something that I want, you can ask me to do things to compensate you for the information. All fine with me.

What I'm objecting to is being unknowingly inundated with unasked for software. You're looking for some stupid piece of information like how many bagels Canadians consume weekly, and suddenly your search bar has been replaced with some other useless search program, and you're getting slider ads from the taskbar. Seriously, if I went into your house, took your old microwave, replaced it with a new crappy microwave, bolted it to your countertop, and put stickers all over everything, you'd probably press charges. This is exactly what all these ad-ware programs do millions of times a day. It's got to be illegal. My computer is personal property, and I should have the right to control what programs are installed on it.

I suggested requiring someone to download some piece of software before being allowed onto a site. There's a reason they don't do it this way. They know that nobody wants it, and that given the choice between ad-ware and not going to that particular site most people would choose to not go. So they resort to trickery and clandestine infiltration to do it instead. Not that it would matter. Even if these programs weren't useless I would still delete them on general principle. I will not be downloaded to without knowledge.

Beyond that, there's another problem inherent in ad-ware. Think for a moment about the big software companies. AOL has a pretty large R&D budget for their software, and they still don't get it right. How much time do you think these tiny little ad-ware companies spend making sure their program won't crash your particular system configuration. My guess is would be somewhere next to none.

So why complain now? It's not exactly a new problem. Well, when I was working on my music post from last Tuesday I needed to double check a lyric, and, in the process, downloaded some spyware that finished its installation process by closing all my open browser windows. Two hours of work had vanished. Some I retyped, but I've decided to leave the rest as a memorial to ad-ware's influence. Then I spent a few hours ripping it all out, and the cycle begins anew. Make me miss that old C64 every now and then.

There's nothing to do in this town...

2005-02-19T01:12:00.000-07:00

This is a phrase you'll undoubtedly hear around Albuquerque, and while this isn't exactly true, it's true enough. Albuquerque is of course either a Native American word meaning: I don't know; What do you want to do? or the name of some Duke from a long time ago. I prefer the former. Great places to go and do something seem to open and close in the blink of an eye, and all we really have to give us any warning is the Alibi.

Since 1992 the Alibi, which has a nice webpage too, has been the only source of information of what's going on to bother with. Sure, the local papers (The Albuquerque Journal and the Albuquerque Tribune) have movie listings, and a local section, but it loses to the Alibi in several regards. First the Alibi is free while newspapers cost money. Second, the Alibi has a complete club calendar. The Journal and the Tribune do not. Third, well...there's really just too many things to list here, so I'll summarize.

The Alibi has: ads for all the upcoming concerts, local news that actually interests people and relates to their lives, editorials from local crazy and some sane people, book reviews, a weird news from around the world feature, a lengthy community calendar for classes and seminars, a separate arts and lit calendar for galleries, readings and poetry events, food reviews, lengthy lists of local restaurants containing price and menu info, a food events calendar with all sorts of weird cooking classes and events, the best movie review section in town, what to watch on TV, a crossword, and the ever strange classified and personal ads. They also run Straight Dope a syndicated column by Cecil Adams, which is usually pretty good, run pub crawls, and have yearly surveys to find the best food, laundromat, cafe, posole, etc...

All in all it's more than you could really ask for in a free paper. Especially after you've seen our two local newspapers. Why do we have two? I don't think anyone really knows. the Trib has better comics, but the Journal is a better paper, that's all I know about it.

Ok, sure they have a few problems. Their music reviews are badly lacking. The crossword is a bit better in the University paper, but really it does pretty well. They capture, fairly well, I think, the local attitude. Here's Devin D. O'Leary's review of The Wedding Date, "They must have had to scrape an inch of dust off the script for this movie. It's pretty much the oldest, tiredest excuse for a romantic comedy you can imagine. Mixing up elements from My Best Friend's Wedding and Picture Perfect, the film has TV's Debra Messing ("Will and Grace") playing an insecure gal who hires a handsome male escort...Why this didn't premiere on Lifetime Network is beyond me." He's got a sarcastic streak, but let's face it most movies suck anyway.

So there it is. The thing I like about Albuquerque this week. The Alibi. An excellent local paper, alas with a miserable music section, helping to answer the question, "I don't know; what do you want to do?" I'll end with my absolute favorite Alibi moment.

They do an annual "Best of Burque" poll, which finds the best businesses in town in a wide variety of categories. Under "Best Deli" one year was the comment that Subway was not a deli, and that, in the future, if anyone were to vote for Subway as the best deli, not only would their vote not be counted, but their entire ballot would be tossed as a matter of principle. You've got to love that.

This week in music...Television

2005-02-15T02:48:00.000-07:00

You may not have heard of Televison, but you probably should have. Here's why...

In the mid-seventies, among the grime and filth of New York's Bowery district there was a small dingy Country, Bluegrass & Blues club called CBGB's. You might have heard of it. It was, after all, the birthplace of Punk. Almost from it's inception it became a hotbed of the local New York scene, home to the Ramones and Patti Smith, Blondie and the Talking Heads, and the epicenter of a musical revolution that would lead directly to the Clash, the Sex Pistols, even Green Day and the Donnas. It's strange to think that it might never have happened had it not been for the efforts of Tom Verlaine and Richard Hell from the not-nearly-as-famous Television.

It was Tom and Richard who convinced club owner Hilly Kristal to open the club on Sundays and allow them to play. Rumor has it the first show was an unqualified failure. There were a few paying customers, some friends of the band too broke to buy drinks, and a sound so cacophonous the owner swore he'd never let a racket like that in again. He relented, of course, and eventually the people did start turning up, and the once dingy little Country club became the House of Punk.

Legend has it that the guys from Television even helped build the stage there, so they could play on it. I don't know if that's literally true, but metaphorically its an unquestionable fact. Television wrangled their way in, and made CBGB's what it is today.

Since this is my first Tuesday music post I wanted to break out something special, and what could be better than this? Music straight from the dark underbelly of New York. Punk before there was such a thing. An odd, still uncertain, collision of beauty and power, before definition and success swept to dull it's edge. Marquee Moon is Televisions first commercial release, though by the time of it's recording Richard Hell had already left the band to pursue other musical projects. It's an album full of noise and raw sound, but there's also a simple delicate beauty about it. Listen for the interplay between Tom Verlaine and Richard Lloyd, and you'll see what I mean. Their balance is amazing. Also keep an ear out for Fred Smith on the bass. The first few notes he plays in the into of See No Evil alone are worth checking out this record. Ok, enough of that...here it is.

Television - Marquee Moon (Elektra 1977) 45:54

1. See No Evil
2. Venus
3. Friction
4. Marquee Moon
5. Elevation
6. Guiding Light
7. Prove It
8. Torn Curtain

More to follow...stupid Ad-Ware.

A bid for structure...

2005-02-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

I was sitting around trying to figure out what I should write about today and not having much luck. There's nothing really on my mind today, and that will probably occur from time to time, so I've decided to lay out a structure here that will give me a little direction when thinking up stuff to write.

Sunday: The day of ranting. The mantra from most bloggers would likely be, "I rant therefore I blog." I'd rather not drown in ranting, so I'll hold it to once a week. Consider yesterday's post on Albuquerque to be the first in a Sunday morning string of unsolicited opinion.
Monday: I'm keeping monday free. I would like to think that I'd have something once a week to put here, and I'd rather not over plan this too much. A little structure will give me some direction. A little freedom may keep it from becoming a chore.
Tuesday: This is music day at One-of-the-lost. Music has been one of my most enduring interests, so every Tuesday I'll be posting a review or commentary on an album, or show, or something related to the world of music.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday: My weekend. A chance to take a break from work and blog related activities.
Saturday: Ah...Albuquerque. As I said yesterday Albuquerque used to be a nice town before the Californians came. Every weekend I'll figure out something I still like about it, and put it here. Hopefully, someone else might check it out, before it disappears.

Of course, none of this is set in stone or anything like that, but it will hopefully provide me with enough ideas to keep writer's block away. So tomorrow is my first music day. I'm starting with Television's Marquee Moon. Consider this just another lost day, but one that will hopefully set things on a new path.

Such a sordid little burg...

2005-02-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

I live in Albuquerque, and like many who also live here I kind of like it. Of course Albuquerque has it's problems, and the biggest is Californians. We're flooded with them, and they're driving the local residents to drink. Literally. I'll explain. Albuquerque is a small city. We're a little backwards, and generally ok with that. Of course, the city is growing, fast. I had a strange experience the other day as someone who's been living here for about six months or so pointed out how quickly the new houses were springing up, and how they had all been empty lots when he had arrived. I found this particularly funny, because he was pointing to an area I had remembered as being nothing in the middle of nothing, surrounded by miles and miles of nothing. I wouldn't even have suspected there was anyone living out there, much less a whole new part of the city. This is really par for the Albuquerque experience. Anyone who's been here for a while will gladly, and at the drop of a hat, reminisce about how much smaller they remember the city being, and with a little pressing what stores used to be where other stores are now. It's kind of a local pastime.

So, here we are a small city caught in an explosion of growth that's been going on for years now, and what do we have to show for it? Well, that's a somewhat complicated question. The truth is we've been getting better movies, but we've also been slowly losing our character. We've become inundated with chain stores of all kinds, lame theme restaurant, and lots and lots of SUV's. The problem is this: California. There's been a steady influx of people from California moving to New Mexico to get away from California, and yet they keep bringing it with them. It really wasn't that long ago that you could go to a local cafe, have a cigarette and leaf through some books you bough at a local bookstore. Now you can buy some books at Barnes and Noble and enjoy then sans cigarette in a Starbucks. One thing in Albuquerque's favor, however, is the fact that, to my knowledge, we do not have any chain Mexican restaurants. I'm fairly certain they wouldn't last too long, if the City even let them have the permit to open in the first place.

What we're really talking about here is homogenization. New Mexicans are not, for the most part, concerned with what the rest of the country is doing, and you see it in the strangest things: the way even McDonalds, great kingpin of blank-faced corporate America, advertises a green chile cheeseburger, the way chain bars like Banana Joe's can't seem to stay in business, or the way we still occasionally have outbreaks of the plague.

The problem is that every year these things fade a little bit more. We lost Santa Fe to the outsiders long before I can remember, and they've started in on Albuquerque. Santa Fe, for those who have never been there is best described as "Southwest-land". It's a theme park dedicated to high priced stucco housing and selling expensive silver and turquoise jewelry to tourists. Ok, Albuquerque has it's share of turquoise jewelry, but here its still sold by Native American street vendors. Its the influence from California, I think, that's causing all of this. They move in with their SUV's and start demanding things like heater repair at 3:00 in the morning, and then bitch when they can't have it. They institute smoking bans in our restaurants, patronize the chain stores and restaurants, and generally make a nuisance of themselves. In Albuquerque you can now only smoke in bars, which I'm sure is a great help to our DUI problem, but whatever. If it makes the Californians happy...

The fact of the matter is this. Albuquerque is a relaxed little place, where no one really does that much. We wake up late, we hang out, and things will get done when they get done. If a store doesn't open on time, they probably didn't feel like coming in just yet, and it would be better for everyone here if our Californian population either accepted this or went back home. We don't want that brand of civilization, but we are, hopelessly it seems, outnumbered.

Time for something new

2005-02-12T01:18:00.000-07:00

I've been on vacation for a while. Ten days to be exact, and my return to work has been a little odd. Work, of course, has not changed at all, but then again, it never does. No, it's my perspective that's different. As I finally coasted to a halt, about 8 days into my vacation, I realized that I'm at a new place in my life. I've burned off a lot of the negative emotions that have been surrounding me during earlier posts and I'm more at peace than I've been for a while. There's a lot to be said for just writing everything down and letting it go. It's a very therapeutic practice.

Anyhow, it occurs to me now that my mind is clear, that this is a time of new beginnings, a time to go in a new direction. Maybe it just took 8 days to slow down enough to see it. I'm not yet sure what direction it will be, but I feel good about taking the time to figure it out. When you're running all the time it never seems like there's time to do anything. Its one foot in front of the other to the exclusion of all else, and its dangerous to go on like that for too long. It's the short road to despair and depression. I don't think I really even knew that's what I was doing at the time.

So its time for something new. I don't know what it will be, but there will be something. Something new in this blog, and something new in my life in general. I just need to remember to focus on the road ahead and not just my feet.

The trilogy of lacking...part three

2005-01-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

I have already covered lack of direction and lack of focus. All that remains is to tackle lack of desire, which is probably the most insidious of all. I don't really feel much like writing about it, as it only seems to lead to despair, but sometimes you need to take that journey. Why is lack of desire such a dangerous trap to find yourself in? In order to find direction, or focus, or almost anything else you have to want it. Without the desire, the passion, or whatever you want to call it, its unlikely you'll ever get up from the couch long enough to accomplish much of anything.

Beyond anyone else on the planet, the filthy rich, the naturally talented, anyone, I envy those who know what they want from life. I envy those with dreams, even unfulfilled dreams. I've never had that. Sure, I've had interests. There are things I obsess over from time to time, but they are fleeting, temporary things. Although I pursue them for a while, get excited about them for a while I don't have that driving passion. Is it an inability to commit? Maybe I've always expected something more than I find. There are a lot of things in this world that never live up to the expectations we have of them. Passion and drive may be like this. My perceptions, having been colored by the clear-cut drive of fictional characters, may have left me cruelly unprepared for the reality of the situation. I don't think that's really it, though. The problem with accepting this type of reasoning is this I've been there before. When I said that I've never felt that sort of all consuming passion, it wasn't exactly accurate. To clarify, although I've never felt that all-consuming drive, in terms of direction, I have been in love before. I was not really intending to enter into a discourse on the nature of love, but I seem to have wound up here anyway.

Love is a strange and amazing thing, and as with all things capable of bringing great pleasure, it may bring with it great pain. I think, or at least my experience tells me that the first serious love affair of your life is the worst. We are so open, so vulnerable and so amazingly willing to put everything on the line that heartbreak is almost inevitable. But you learn something. Something about life, about love, and about yourself, so when the next time rolls around you're better prepared. Not that it matters much. The options are simple, you either put up emotional barriers to protect yourself, or you risk going through the pain all over again. The innocence, however, never comes back. Even if you're capable of putting yourself on the line time after time, you know, somewhere in the back of your mind, that there is the potential for pain hiding just around the corner. I've never been one who can easily risk myself like that. The sheer awkwardness of putting this into words is, even now, driving me crazy, but I think this is one of those roads I have to commit to following now. To try and detach myself at this point would just drive this experiment to failure.

I made the transition from adolescent romance to serious relationship during my first few years of college, and like many first loves it ended badly. Of course we claim to be friends still, but the remaining emotional debris makes a normal relationship difficult at best. There is a saying that goes, "There is nothing like falling in love for the first time," and while that may be the case, it certainly leaves a good deal unsaid. By the end I was a wreck, and hiding in a protective shell, which was most likely doubling as a prison, but I wasn't looking to get out. Into this mess walked, unexpectedly, the wonderful woman who would years later become my wife. She, probably unknowlingly, helped me put things back together, and it was this process that really became the foundation of trust which allowed me to relate to her. It was certainly very different from the first time, and thankfully so. The first time I felt a lot like I had been caught in a sinkhole and the ground I was standing on was disappearing rapidly. There's a tendency to call this a time of "fireworks", but it's a lot more like the feeling in your stomach when you're falling from a very tall building. The second time was as different from that as night is from day. I was moving again, but rather than plunging I felt more like I was moving to a safe place. It's a little hard to explain, but the relationship I was building, which started so awkwardly, was slowly growing around me. It was not really tearing down my barriers, but absorbing them. As the years have gone by I find I have fewer and fewer left standing. There are a few left, some remaining scars, but far fewer. Am I describing a safe and boring relationship? No. Although I have my issues, and still hide behind some walls, there are times, when the walls fall, that there is a very strong connection between us. In fact, I think the "fireworks" are more meaningful and powerful now. It would be a lie to say that the fire which burns so brightly at the start of a relationship continues to burn at the same intensity forever. I don't think it could sustain itself. My wife and I have been married for four years now, and I would say that I've now lost count of the number of times I've fallen in love with her. Love is a constant thing, but being in love is a state of mind that comes and goes. If you spend too much time chasing the fireworks, you'll miss the beauty of the moments in between.

And the price of tea in China? There is a connection here that I've been building toward. I want to wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose. I desperately want to want something. This I've never felt, and I must now ask the question of whether I will ever feel that. I see a distinct difference between relationships and direction, but this may be an illusion. If I, at least now, have a tendency toward emotional detachment, isn't it likely that this would also affect my commitment toward choosing a direction? Probably. Maybe I know that I've lost something and part of me wants it back. I don't know exactly. Maybe these dreams are of a different sort, but just like matters of love, by the time we've grown up and the time comes to make these decisions, our dreams have been crushed so many times we've put up different walls. I would suspect that I's a combination of the two. We know it's dangerous to want things, and we know that a lot of dreams never come true, so what's the point in wanting anything at all. Knowing, this maybe some progress can be made. It's not about falling madly in love with some direction. It's about building that relationship, cultivating the desire and refusing to give up on it or to allow fear to get in the way. To be honest, there's so many pieces of ideas hanging around right now I can't even begin to pick them up, but I think that there's a little more order than when I started. I'm just too worn out to continue right now.

So what's with all the doom and gloom...

2005-01-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

Looking back over my first two entries here I'm begining to see a pattern emerging. The first was, more than anything else, about my lack of focus. The second was about my lack of direction. This rash of negativity makes me start to wonder whether my life is really that bad, or if maybe I'm just using this space to vent. Well, it's probably the latter. When I sit and try to start organizing the thoughts that are swirling around my head I find that the bad tends to remain long after the good have turned into pleasant memories. It's probably just the nature of these kind of feelings. Good things have a tendancy to resolve themselves quickly. They don't linger in the irksome way that so many negative feelings do, hovering at the fringes of consciousness, waiting to strike when the defenses are down. A simplification? Sure, but I'd rather not think about the alternatives they're far less plesant.

The point is that when I sit down to write in anything resembling an introspective manner it's always the doubts, the fears, and the insecurities which make their way to the front. It never seems to be about the simple pleasures and that bothers me a bit. I wouldn't like to think that if I were to look back at this in twenty years all I would have is a record of everything that kept me up at night. That would be a shame, because those are the things I would rather forget.

To be honest, it may just be too soon to take stock like this. This is my third post and I'm still really feeling my way around what it is I'm doing here. I should almost have expected that this project, borne out of a caffine-addled attempt to set my mind at ease, would come together with an emphaisis on the questions and fears. That can change, though, and probably will as will my frame of mind. Certainly there's been more dark than light around for a while now both here and in my life in general, but I think the dawn may finally be in sight. Things are beginning to pick up, I think, and that will inevitably work its way into my writing. The problem is that I have a tendancy to dwell on the questions. Open ended and poorly defined quandaries. They're the sort of things that can't help causing some emotional turmoil. How do I know if I'm going somewhere or not? There's no simple answer, maybe no answer at all. No real assurance to be found.

I guess the only point I'm really trying to make is that when the end comes and the final tally is made, I'd like to think there will be more good than bad, more happy moments than sad, and more joy than sadness. Sometimes, like now, I think there will. Other times I'm not so sure, but either way it's probably better for me if I don't use these entries as an emotional barometer. The results would likely be skewed.

Not all who wander are lost...but some are.

2005-01-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

If you're ever in Albuquerque, and you find an old red VW bus with a bumper sticker reading, "Not all who wander are lost," you've probably found my car. The sticker was an impromptu gift from my brother, and bore a respectable sentiment penned by J. R. R. Tolkien, so I put it on without much thought.
A short time after that one of my friends was following me as I set of on what became an unnecessarily circuitous route through residential neighborhoods before winding up almost exactly where I' d started (an easy, if not inevitable feat in Santa Fe, but a trickier one in Albuquerque). When we finally arrived at where we were going he pointed out that while not all who wander are lost, some, in fact, are, and I might want to add a warning indicating such.

The full quote reads:
All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;
the old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
a light from the shadows shall spring;
renewed shall be blade that was broken,
the crownless again shall be king.
-J. R. R. Tolkien from The Lord of the Rings

I state the rest of it, or at least some more of it here to help illustrate the meaning of Tolkien's poem and the way in which my friend's statement diverges from it. Tolkien starts out with a few lines about perception and assumption. Though you may think you see gold it may be something else, though someone may appear to be lost, they may have their own agenda that you are not accounting for. The next few lines turn the poem in a new direction, though still connected to this idea of perception. These lines are more about the eternal essence of things. Strength is always strong, despite the onset of age. The roots remain alive even in the blasting cold of winter. Fire is always fire, though it has been reduced to ash. So the perceptions are still being fooled. We perceive age, or cold, but in truth there is strength and fire. The line regarding the fire introduces the next theme of the piece that of rebirth. The fire, the light, the blade, and the king are all reborn. There is a nice flow to these lines. We start with the simple idea of the failure of perception to recognize reality and move through a series of images, so that when we arrive at the end the final line does not simply mean the king will return, but encompasses the full range of themes in the rest of the poem. The king is eternal and, though you may not be capable of recognizing him we is destined as are all enternal things to return. Each of the lines applies directly to the final one. You may not see the sparkle of gold on the king, but it is there. Though he appears to be an aimless wanderer, he is on the path to his destiny. He comes from an ancient line, but that line is strong and has not disappeared. Though his line appears dead it is alive and will return in the metaphorical spring. The fire of his line (of his leadership, of his strength, etc) is not dead, but will again be kindled, and so on. All in all, it's a pretty tight little verse.
Let's put this half-hearted literary analysis to the side now and focus on the single line. When you separate this part of the line from it's context the meaning changes a bit. The same perception versus reality quality remains a viable interpretation, but the meaning I find most resonant is that of the quest. Sometimes, when you are looking for something wandering in an apparently aimless fashion may be a necessary part of the journey. Beyond that, sometimes wandering may be the point of the journey. If this is the case, then how do you tell the difference between being lost and wandering toward an unknown goal? How do you know if you continuing to explore and to grow from when you're just spinning your wheels? It may be that some of us are wandering because we have to, while others are wandering because we don't know what else to do. We've lost the path, have no real way of getting back to it, and feel that any direction is as good as any other. We're lost. Maybe it's a temporary thing, maybe not.
Well, you'll have to figure out your own situation, but I feel it's only fair to warn you, I may be wandering as a means to get where I'm going, but there's a good chance I'm just one of the lost.

So little time...

2005-01-24T23:21:00.000-07:00

Hmm...a blank page. There are few things quite as daunting. My mind is a bit of a mess today, and that doesn't help much either. I had a very large, rather too big, in fact, coffee this afternoon with rather too much sugar as well and I'm still not quite on an even keel.

So there I lay in the semi darkness of a late winter evening attempting, despite caffeine, to grab a few hours of sleep before work, unable to stop the thoughts from flashing through my head. I choose leave them here, then, so I don't have worry about them any more tonight.

Today has been rather typical in that I've spent a good portion of it reevaluating my life, a process that seems to be my new pastime. Not that it changes. Its a cycle that never seems to lead anywhere, and yet one I never seem to tire of. Go figure. Today the scalpel of self analysis touches on many things, but only one that interests me from more than a few seconds. There are some people in this world who might describe me as a dabbler. Alas, I'd have to agree. When I think about the various interests I've pursued (record collecting, leatherwork, medieval history, literature, writing, business, this blog, sewing, and guitar playing leap to mind first) I'm a little surprised at how many there have been and how few have led to anything. I am not, in theory, against having diverse interests. In fact, it's probably healthy. So where's the issue? Well, there are several, but today I seem to be dwelling on the phrase "Jack of all trades; master of none." It's a double edged knife isn't it? On one hand diversity is good, but on the other you've just got to admire the one who has gained mastery over their craft. There are just so many things to do in this world that you could never experience them all, and to some degree, I worry that if I focused on just a few I would be missing so many other things. Then again, maybe that's just an excuse to cover laziness. I wouldn't bet against it. The thing is, though, I'm enamored of greatness, of mastery. From the marital arts master to the musician I'm fascinated by the dedication of these people to their art, and the skills they display. I don't have them. Most likely I never will. I suspect this affects my outlook as well, but it provides no solution. The question remains. Is it better to have read a great number of books, or to have studied the works of one writer in great detail, to try everything for a day, or to study one thing for a lifetime? And, perhaps most importantly for me, why do I continue to pursue so many things concurrently that I wind up feeling that there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, and I'm better off doing nothing at all, which is, of course, what winds up happening.

This won't change. It never does. Maybe it is time for me to focus my efforts a little. Perhaps I should, for once, pick something to do and then follow through with it. Maybe someday I will, but I strongly suspect that it will not be today. It never is. The great irony here is that most things aren't really that interesting until you get far enough inside the subject to understand their subtleties and details, and what you get from wide exploration often feels like less than nothing at all.

Hmm...the page isn't blank anymore.