So little time...
Hmm...a blank page. There are few things quite as daunting. My mind is a bit of a mess today, and that doesn't help much either. I had a very large, rather too big, in fact, coffee this afternoon with rather too much sugar as well and I'm still not quite on an even keel.
So there I lay in the semi darkness of a late winter evening attempting, despite caffeine, to grab a few hours of sleep before work, unable to stop the thoughts from flashing through my head. I choose leave them here, then, so I don't have worry about them any more tonight.
Today has been rather typical in that I've spent a good portion of it reevaluating my life, a process that seems to be my new pastime. Not that it changes. Its a cycle that never seems to lead anywhere, and yet one I never seem to tire of. Go figure. Today the scalpel of self analysis touches on many things, but only one that interests me from more than a few seconds. There are some people in this world who might describe me as a dabbler. Alas, I'd have to agree. When I think about the various interests I've pursued (record collecting, leatherwork, medieval history, literature, writing, business, this blog, sewing, and guitar playing leap to mind first) I'm a little surprised at how many there have been and how few have led to anything. I am not, in theory, against having diverse interests. In fact, it's probably healthy. So where's the issue? Well, there are several, but today I seem to be dwelling on the phrase "Jack of all trades; master of none." It's a double edged knife isn't it? On one hand diversity is good, but on the other you've just got to admire the one who has gained mastery over their craft. There are just so many things to do in this world that you could never experience them all, and to some degree, I worry that if I focused on just a few I would be missing so many other things. Then again, maybe that's just an excuse to cover laziness. I wouldn't bet against it. The thing is, though, I'm enamored of greatness, of mastery. From the marital arts master to the musician I'm fascinated by the dedication of these people to their art, and the skills they display. I don't have them. Most likely I never will. I suspect this affects my outlook as well, but it provides no solution. The question remains. Is it better to have read a great number of books, or to have studied the works of one writer in great detail, to try everything for a day, or to study one thing for a lifetime? And, perhaps most importantly for me, why do I continue to pursue so many things concurrently that I wind up feeling that there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, and I'm better off doing nothing at all, which is, of course, what winds up happening.
This won't change. It never does. Maybe it is time for me to focus my efforts a little. Perhaps I should, for once, pick something to do and then follow through with it. Maybe someday I will, but I strongly suspect that it will not be today. It never is. The great irony here is that most things aren't really that interesting until you get far enough inside the subject to understand their subtleties and details, and what you get from wide exploration often feels like less than nothing at all.
Hmm...the page isn't blank anymore.
So there I lay in the semi darkness of a late winter evening attempting, despite caffeine, to grab a few hours of sleep before work, unable to stop the thoughts from flashing through my head. I choose leave them here, then, so I don't have worry about them any more tonight.
Today has been rather typical in that I've spent a good portion of it reevaluating my life, a process that seems to be my new pastime. Not that it changes. Its a cycle that never seems to lead anywhere, and yet one I never seem to tire of. Go figure. Today the scalpel of self analysis touches on many things, but only one that interests me from more than a few seconds. There are some people in this world who might describe me as a dabbler. Alas, I'd have to agree. When I think about the various interests I've pursued (record collecting, leatherwork, medieval history, literature, writing, business, this blog, sewing, and guitar playing leap to mind first) I'm a little surprised at how many there have been and how few have led to anything. I am not, in theory, against having diverse interests. In fact, it's probably healthy. So where's the issue? Well, there are several, but today I seem to be dwelling on the phrase "Jack of all trades; master of none." It's a double edged knife isn't it? On one hand diversity is good, but on the other you've just got to admire the one who has gained mastery over their craft. There are just so many things to do in this world that you could never experience them all, and to some degree, I worry that if I focused on just a few I would be missing so many other things. Then again, maybe that's just an excuse to cover laziness. I wouldn't bet against it. The thing is, though, I'm enamored of greatness, of mastery. From the marital arts master to the musician I'm fascinated by the dedication of these people to their art, and the skills they display. I don't have them. Most likely I never will. I suspect this affects my outlook as well, but it provides no solution. The question remains. Is it better to have read a great number of books, or to have studied the works of one writer in great detail, to try everything for a day, or to study one thing for a lifetime? And, perhaps most importantly for me, why do I continue to pursue so many things concurrently that I wind up feeling that there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, and I'm better off doing nothing at all, which is, of course, what winds up happening.
This won't change. It never does. Maybe it is time for me to focus my efforts a little. Perhaps I should, for once, pick something to do and then follow through with it. Maybe someday I will, but I strongly suspect that it will not be today. It never is. The great irony here is that most things aren't really that interesting until you get far enough inside the subject to understand their subtleties and details, and what you get from wide exploration often feels like less than nothing at all.
Hmm...the page isn't blank anymore.
posted by brian at 11:21 PM
1 Comments:
I love the ramblings, I do the same almost every spare moment. I like to refer to it as spacing out, and on occasion, creative process.
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